less than this

I logged on to CafePress today to take a peek around.

They're finally close to ready to roll out the new technology they've been developing for the last couple of years for printing vibrant digital images directly onto products instead of via transfers, but they're "Beta testing" it on Jr. Baby Doll Shirts only. They encourage you to order one to witness the exciting new quality and increased durability. Alas, I have no use for a Jr. Baby Doll Shirt. I don't even have any friends who could wear one. So I suppose I'll wait for them to finish the tech and roll it out across the other products, and maybe order something nice for myself.

So anyway, I closed the pop-up telling me that the technology I've been waiting for for years is available now on products I don't really have any designs for, and on the summary page it said they owed me about $25 in earned commissions. Which seemed weird, because I couldn't remember the last time they'd emailed me to let me know there was a sale, and the last time I logged in, it was like, $6. So I pulled up a "transaction report" to see what I'd sold - maybe they stopped emailing sales or something... No. It says that since the last time they owed me enough money to send a check (minimum $25), back in August of 2003, I've made a total of 14 sales to people other than myself totaling $12.10 ($4.02 combined from all designs that don't imply a request for oral sex) in commissions, and it says that I've used a total of $13.06 of "CafeCash" on orders I made myself (that is, I've spent more virtual commission money than I personally earned). Oh, and since August 2003 I apparently have earned $25.88 in referrals from other people's sales.

Probably mostly Iain's, as I understand it. Probably residuals from implying that the President has poor enunciation. Either way, I've earned more than twice as much from Cafepress rewarding me for people I know being successful than I have from direct personal success.

I'm thinking of going to just a basic store with just books. Right now I'm paying $60 per annum for a "premium" CafePress shop that has earned less than $40 in commissions in the last TWO years. F_ck, maybe I'll drop the books, too. As you might have guessed had I given you another piece of information (the last non-NeedHead order was placed in September of 2004), the books aren't exactly flying off the shelves. In fact, if we do not consider orders I placed for my own books at volume discounts so that I can attempt to re-sell them for a profit in person, I have not made a single internet sale of a book since my first book's First Edition first actually became available for sale on CafePress.

Not one.

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I'm adding Happy Accidents to the list of movies that make me cry every single time I watch it, no matter what, and if you've seen it, it's obvious, and if you haven't, you should.

I had never gotten to see it, for years and years, and then I netflix'd it a couple of months ago and knew I needed to own it, and happy day, they had it used at Zia on Friday night and I bought it. I just watched it, and my eyes are still wet and I kinda want to watch it again.

But I think I'll put something else in for now. Maybe something that will make me laugh instead of cry. The internet tells me that laughter can cause a release of Beta endorphins, which can reduce pain. Maybe if the movie is funny enough I can work on screwing up GWB's head some more.

And no, I'm not going to church this week, and I didn't go last week, and I know I'm just writing this sentence to try to guilt-trip myself into going, but I don't feel like it right now, so I'm not going. That doesn't make me a bad Christian, it just means I'm not feeling well right now.

The simple version I gave on discussion earlier tonight regarding my progress and pain on and from my GWB piece (to remind you, I am at a stage where I take a very small screwdriver and drive thousands of very small screws into a relatively very large piece of wood):

I haven't been working a little bit on putting screws in, say, 25 every night all week which would make steady progress without tearing up my hands, because I've been depressed and unable to get anything done.

I spent the last two days (off and on, but day and night) working on driving hundreds of screws and tearing up my hands (imagine blisters on blisters under the not-quite-yet-healed blisters from last weekend) because I am depressed.

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I watched Easy Rider last night. It joins an increasingly long list of movies I've been getting through Netflix because they're 'classics' or 'great' or 'groundbreaking' movies which just disappoint me. Movies which I find unimpressive and uninteresting and which do not grab or hold my interest. I'll have to go home and look at the list of movies I've watched to give you a full recounting, but the list includes Easy Rider, Deliverance, Miller's Crossing, Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, A Few Good Men, and uhhh... a couple others which were apparently so un-memorable that I've forgotten watching them.

I can't wait until I start going even further back in time to see movies from James Dean and Elvis, then further back to movies like Casablanca and Breakfast at Tiffany's... I'm guessing that it just gets worse the more 'classic' a movie is. Well... I've seen Citizen Kane once or twice and I didn't hate that, but ... I have yet to see why so many people consider it the best movie ever.

Ooh! And Netflix just got copies of Godfather II in, finally, so I'll bump that trilogy towards the top of my Queue soon - I've never seen those. I always try to have high expectations for these movies, I don't want them to suck. But then they do.

I got to the end of Easy Rider and they just died all of a sudden and ... nothing had happened the entire movie, there was no point at all, it was a complete waste of my time and ... well, if it hadn't made them a lot of money and fame, I'd say it was a waste of the film crew's time, too. I watched the little making-of video they put on the DVD, and I could see that they obviously had a good time making it, but man... I just can't see why it became a phenomenon. If it were made today it would be lucky to get diistribution at all, and then would be killed by word of mouth. Terrance Malick (sp?) makes more engaging films!

Anyway, I ought to be working.

Update: Looking at my NetFlix history, additional movies which disappointed: Rain Man, Glengarry Glen Ross, Far and Away, Network, and ... and ... I had to put in an email request for my full history, and it wasn't instant. Sigh.

Last week the lightning from a storm set fire to my neighborhood.

Tonight the storm downed several trees in the area and broke a large branch off the tree in our front yard and tore one of the sheds in our yard free from the ground and tore it up and whipped a sheet or two of the as-yet-unstuccoed styrofoam insulation from the side of the house and knocked out power to the entire neighborhood for ... well, estimates around 6 hours, or until around 12:30AM.

Now it's possible I missed a sand-storm, but I figure if I missed it it wasn't catastrophic enough. So we should have sand or stones or "earth" otherwise attacking the neighborhood soon, and flooding. Fire and Air have already attacked.

Hopefully after that there'll be catastrophic love in the neighborhood. That ... that is a mess I don't mind cleaning up after.